Wander Dust

Someone told me today that I wander too much and of course that ended up prompting a discussion with a few different people on different levels but the basis of all was that I wanted to know why they thought I wandered too much and their only answer was because I was single. Of course I had to respond with the you are in the bars most every weekend and after work and you go home intoxicated and alone. I wander, I see new sights, I meet people from all over, I look for new experiences and I don't want to sit in a bar all the time....why? Sure, I might still be single but I am not simply sitting in a bar to drink and maybe hookup with some very temporary moment. I want much more than that in life.

There is much more to life than sitting in a bar. There is so much out here. And I can't imagine meeting the one person for me in a bar...I could be wrong but I don't believe I am. I'm not even looking for someone in my life. I have full belief that it will happen, naturally, as it is supposed to happen.

I don't care if you are single with no one to answer to or single with kiddos, getting out is much healthier mentally and physically. To me it is an ignorant thought that you can meet who you want to be with in a bar. It is ignorant in my belief that I wander too much. I see much, I find beauty in some amazing places, I hike where many don't. I get to listen to all sorts of different music at different venues and jump from the sky, float in the sky, boat to a different part of a lake or an island and if I am meant to meet someone then I will. I will meet someone who appreciates my free spirit and the wonders outside of a dim lit, neon glow of a room.

Don't get me wrong, I go to bars to but when someone compares my wandering to their constantly being in a bar...there is no comparison. It's an apples and oranges comparison. It's simply a false comparison.

Maybe people do think I am too free spirited but let's take stock of that. Let's compare where I have been, done and seen and 98% of what I have done, where I have been and what I have seen, so have my kiddos because I took them with me. I didn't just sit in a bar several days a week while my kiddos were at home. We've seen some pretty awesome stuff together and done some pretty awesome stuff together. And my kiddos are well rounded and pretty worldly for their age.

Now don't misinterpret what I am saying. If being in a bar during most of your free time is what you choose then that is your decision and I am not going to fault you for it whatsoever, unless it affects those around you then I will say something. So please don't judge me because I am wandering and simply single.

On the other side of that single coin...why does it bother you that I am single? Did you ever stop to wonder why? Did you ever really ask? Do you know the real reasons behind it all? No, I did not think so.

It is no different than someone saying to me via words or actions that they can never really ask me to go somewhere with them because I always have plans...huh gee how do you thinks plans with others are made in the first place, you simply ask. Yes I make my plans and I can unmake them very easily under the right circumstances and my life is filled with the right circumstances. And I am also home 5-6 nights/days a week unless I have to travel long distances which isn't often.

I've heard people talk in circles to me about going out and doing things yet when I, myself have said yes lets...there is a back peddle in one way or another. That's fine. That's a decision made by those who do so. I only ask one thing...what are these people afraid of when they back peddle? I can come up with many ideas but honestly I am not going to.

So with this said I will still wander and I will still remain single until that special person shows and then by mutual set of choices we can choose and it's not just I. I will either continue to wander alone or preferably they will wander with me or hey lets even find a compromise and we enjoy our time at home, maybe around a fire, quiet dinner, movie teasing kids cuz we have them. I am not made of wander dust alone, don't think I am but I am not made of an almost nightly bar scene by a long shot either. I have a life and would be glad to have you in it more just not always at the bar.

She rises up on her own

because no one is beside her

She brazenly stands against the time and tide of humanity and motions

actions within, wandering she lives

it's what she does in her free time

to see the world

from another set of eyes.

They tell her it's wrong

and that it's too much

but she will never understand

why they can't just reach out and touch.

She doesn't understand why it's wrong

why she can't continue to sing her own peaceful song.

She doesn't know why they won't share,

time spent with them there

they sit in dim filled rooms as the world glances by

never to really reach out and grasp a wisp of air

or the breath of skies.

She spends much time at home

strangely enough,

more time than sowing the grains of wander dust.

Don't blame her because you don't ask

don't blame her when she is reaching for peace.

Maybe she can teach you

something of a different life

a different breath

a different scene

even if only for a moment

whatever the play, whatever the scene

appreciate her for who she is

and not who you think she should be