Epiphanies of Love

The epiphanies of love is in all of us on many levels and for many reasons. But what brings those epiphanies and to what level do we love at each of those levels? Have you ever experienced such a resounding perception over what is unknown in the way of love? Is it just a look where you see the mirrors of a person's soul? Is it the longing among the sadness of the homeless as they stand on the roadside yet there is a minuscule connection that tells an untold story and somehow you feel just the smallest bit of love? Maybe they will feel that vibe within their own epiphany or realization? Maybe, the touch of a stranger under duress, where once a stranger was never welcomed? Maybe it is someone in a far off distance where you connect over a neural network called the internet or cell phone or even over a circumstance where you heartfelt-fully feel love towards an entire group of people...maybe kiddos fighting in a cancer ward, trauma ward? What about the person you may walk by that suddenly you know that is all they need, is just a bit of a push, a kind word, a moment for them to believe in...and you respond. I believe we respond in love.

This unfettered and mostly unrecognized kind of love exists. We spend our lives craving love, being fearful of it, not freely accepting or giving of it. We crave what we think we want and hoping that it doesn't go away. How many of us really even know what we want in love and how do you get it? We virtually expect love to be there for us...but what I think we don't understand or see is that we can not love in the way we desire without loving others before ourselves. Even the simplest of love that holds no preconceived reason, I believe is necessary.

A little moment of conceding here...yes we all love ourselves, even if only minute...but what, in the end makes us happier? Loving ourselves, or someone else...sometimes no matter who that some one else is? No matter the cost? Sometimes the only cost for us to love just a small bit, is simply in knowing that we loved, thus loving a complete stranger to a spouse and those in between.

I have loved on many levels. I have yelled at people from my vehicle that I love them, not even knowing who they were...but sometimes that moment, as I look over, yes, it screams to me...and I hope at the end of the day that person takes that to bed with them. Or the stranger that you have only spent less than a days worth of words with but there is something said and felt...and in the end you tell them you love them for who they are or for the words they have spoken. Isn't this the kind of love the world really should have? Unfettered? Real? Not about ourselves first but about what is seen and felt otherwise?

I have driven down off Center Street Bridge to Front St 5 days a week for almost 2 years and I have thought to a few random homeless and Bibam lunch company, I love you guys. Bibam I have actually caught in traffic, at a stop light and thanked them for the service they provide to the homeless. Those people down within the adjoining park I have started to know over the few years. I spent part of my xmas's with them before visiting my daughter. I see them everyday as I come down off the ramp. I walk through the park and sometimes they walk through my parking lot at work. And sometimes that kind sentence of I love you goes along ways for those who feel less than...well whatever.

There is that random stranger in everyone's life that you experience a moment with and you know that you love them for who they are, even if you don't know how they live, how they speak, what they do...but you feel a heart and in that you love.

The relationships that feel right from day one and become life long friends...Yes I have a few of them and some of my first words to them was “I so love you for saying that” and “I love you for doing that.” It is a simple basal foundation of love.

When we listen to a person or an unspoken soul of a person we love and the actions that we see or may perceive will always strengthen that feeling thus Love makes the world go around. The lack of love, because of so many reasons really negates a moment here but in the end, those of us who feel, we see and we say and we know.

I've said I love you to perfect strangers, to people I barely know and I say I love you to those who are very much buried deep in my heart daily. Love isn't always about knowing a person intimately...actually loving a person intimately tends to scare those who don't fully understand or are afraid to experience, even the most innocent of love. So with this said I will admit I have scared away a few people who mean much to me over a simple act of kindness, a word, an action and even a thought process. I didn't know why I scared them away until l recently.

A few weeks ago I was in a simple conversation with someone I know; still after 2 years we have much to learn about the other; and I commented on how I scare people away sometimes, because of what I write...their response was “because they are weak.” I didn't know what to say. My first thought was that “Yeah probably because they can't stand up to words”... but I kept thinking about that and it started to really bother me...yes, ok there are weak people, we all are weak but just because someone runs away doesn't make them weak. Simply, fear and weakness are very different in definition. It's a misunderstanding of ones self. It's an obstacle to building on personal strength. For some, it is much more, but for everyone, we all have fear and we are all weak and we all need love, even in basic form.

While people tend to be afraid, it is because of a doubt within, not because someone has spoken a word and they feel uncomfortable. Practice it. Go say I love you to a perfect stranger, watch their reaction and ask them why they reacted the way they did...I bet eventually you will even come across a few that say I love you back...the epiphanies of love is a realization of life and openness.

Anyway my point is despite what this person said about the other being weak, I ended up disagreeing. I know how it is to be strong with self and feel uncomfortable over what in the end are innocent words. Sometimes my writings make people feel uncomfortable but that isn't on me and that is where this whole diatribe comes from. I can honestly say the only people who have ever been scared of me or walked away from a moment that changes lives...it's all because of my writing and somehow, some way, in the end they come back. I've had an apology from one for their misunderstandings and I have had them speak to me of their concerns they had then and how they see the unfounded moment and how they are sorry they walked away. This was proven recently after a 6 year hiatus between myself and one other...a basic misunderstanding and the lack of personal wherewithal to approach on a honesty level...guess what they misunderstood? My level of love towards them. They felt I was too intimate but in the end they learned I wasn't being intimate with them but that what was said was a basic truth that affects everyone.

The first time I came across the moment of my writing or spoken words scaring someone off was a weird epiphany in my head, as blatant as the sun is bright. It has taken me awhile to realize this. I pry out of curiosity, always have ...when I start. I write and send bits and pieces to people I know and ooops to close, to personal and yet I only send to those I think will see a truth, appreciate, understand but in some ways I hit to close to home, people assume and they run away, out of fear and misunderstanding. I never send one piece of writing to simply one person. In the end, everyone gets the exact same words.

So here in I want people to understand me from a simple basic view. I am not complicated. I love very deeply on some basal and simple and intense moments. I don't have to know a person to love simply. I can tell you I love you over a moment of seeing what I see and never speaking to you to a heartfelt, many year moment. I can love you because of simple compassion in a distraught time or because of what you said or what you have done.

Just this past Monday I was at a Casting Crowns concert, and normal to me, I started to walk out during the last song, so as to beat traffic. Towards the end of the open stadium, shortly before I passed the last few rows of seats was a lady that I had never seen. Her arms held wide, her head tilted slightly towards the sky and she was singing. I followed my urge and I walked over to her, lightly touched her arm to get her attention. I hugged her, told her I loved her and God bless. She, with the hugest smile...said thank you and God bless and I simply walked away. She probably thought I was a bit odd but in the end she took a positive and kept it positive.

So as my last moment on this subject I must say that almost every single person I have ever made feel uncomfortable are now very good friends or good acquaintances working towards that true, unique friendship. For those who fear, find your way through that fear because there are so many epiphanies of love that you miss out on.

Romans 12:9

Love must be sincere, hate what is evil, cling to what is good.

Romans 13:10

Love does no harm to a stranger, therefore love is the fulfillment of law.