Freedom is liberty and liberty is freedom

I have just come off of my first true mini vacation in 5 years. I chose to ignore the phone, wasn't worried about service or lack thereof, I wandered, as usual but in a mindset of even more freedom. I did wonder where the money was for staying out of service...you know, all those facebook memes that ask if you could do without if you were paid...I ignored the world I drove away from and drove into a world I rarely get the pleasure of experiencing. It was the true epitome of that sense of freedom I believe we all crave, yet very few of us get to do, me included. It didn't matter where I went, what I did, how long it took me. There were no time constraints on anything. The only thing I truly remained conscious of was to be back sometime Monday.

During this ride, a few moments in my head made me realize that freedom is liberty and liberty is freedom and that we all have this, every single one of us. We just choose not to set aside time for this recharging moment of life. This moment can be an absolute mindset or the physical act of getting away. I also realized that sometimes it's just certain thoughts that plague you, not necessarily in a negative way, but are just relentless in not going away. I was able to really leave it all behind...the constant checking of work email, the wondering about certain tenants or emergencies that might strike while I was so far away. The constant barrage of scheduling in my mind, the constant business in my head of scheduling circles, ongoing projects, upcoming work travels, certain persons who have created many questions and even more confusion due to conflicting moments; it all ceased. The thought process of conversations that were conducive to nothing in the future and once again I let go.

I let myself go freely. I experienced epiphanies of thought, people and understanding. In this I also walked away from confusing moments, confusiong conversations and confusing actions of others that just made me crazy with trying to figure one thing or another out. I don't want this craziness of something that makes no sense and in a brilliant moment of release, kicked back on a rock, where the ocean waves had battered daily for many a year I openly understood and walked away. Taking cue from the newness of another day of freedom I chose to walk in a different direction, leaving behind confusing actions, conversations and thoughts. As I sit at home, writing this, my feelings clear, ready to take it on all again but without those dropped pieces I left somewhere scattered throughout forests, beaches, ocean rocks. We all have this capability to achieve this mental freeing of negative and confusing self, others and circumstances.

My wild abandonment came alive, life woke up a little bit more and with that acceptance of a hundred little myriad of moments, while not gone per se, no longer controlling thoughts and actions. I am truly a free spirit! I opened my arms and heart and head wide and embraced the driving moments of life. The crawling down hillsides, over slippery rocks, under trees for the view no one else could see. I began to see what others have said time and again when they say they live vicariously through me...I do live, yes I do. It is not just my simple wandering of new places and experiences but also of my growth in each of these moments that others must be able to see. Well I am here to say, you can do this too, on your own, you can be free and not live vicariously through anyone. Make it a mental exercise of sorts, get out and let go...find something that works.

Take the confliction of life and throw it to the wind, write it down on pieces of paper and burn them, watch the riptide and the waves collide at your feet and imagine each of them washing away another moment...find something that works for you and take that freeing moment and hang on, run with it and leave behind the moments that just no longer work for you. Grasp the newness of who you meet, the newness of moments you let go, what you experience and how you feel, stand up and smile, throw your arms to the wind and feel the breeze of the air and live. Live for you first, then for others, those that appreciate you...only in this moment will life make more sense and leave you feeling spirtually rested.

To those who truly accept me for how I am, not confuse me with nonsensical dribble, thank you.